Fancy Meals

Listen, I'm not going to pretend, I can't cook. Actually let me rephrase that, I'm too lazy to learn how to cook and I'm too lazy to bother trying to cook. You want to know what I make for food? Usually some sort of meat, steak mainly, but chicken and sausage as well as other high protein food make the list. I'll usually make pasta during the day as well, nothing wrong with some Pesto with that or just straight Bove's Vodka Sauce (It's local Vermont shit, Google it. Seriously, their sauce wins more awards than Michael Jordan's got championships) with meat balls. Oh and I'll make hard-boiled eggs and I'll usually buy tons of fruits because they're awesome. When I eat a juicy mango, it's like drinking the nectar of the gods. Yea I said it.

Anyways back on topic, as you can tell I don't really cook. Frankly I don't have the time and as long as I meet my nutrient needs, I'm ok with whatever you give me. Maybe when I have more time I'll pick some things up. But Shit, there's only 24 hours in a day, and 6 of those hours are spent sleeping. WE as MEN have got things to do, people to meet, and bitches to slay and there's just not enough time in the day. So where do we make our sacrifices? Food preparation. I'm not wasting 4 hours a day trying to cook and buy food to cook. That's where fast food comes in. See, I hate it. With all of my life. So I avoid it, but this website I found is absolutely fucking awesome and hilarious at the same time. Take a look at the first image, see how good that meal looks? Well you want to know what that food was originally? Take a look at the picture below.

That's right, the meal you just saw was Mcdonald's Chicken Mcnuggets. These guys are magicians. You see those mash potatoes in the first image, that came from the French Fries, I mean freedom fries (fuck you, you french pussys). Here's a link to the site, Fancy Fast Foods.

Who needs to bring a girl on a date? Now we can pretend that we cooked a nice meal, serve it on some nice plates, light some candles to get the mood right, play some John Mayer and have the girl melt into our hands. Like shooting fish in a Barrel.

In all seriousness, don't ever do that.

In conclusion, there are two morals to the story and my article here. Either you're a glass half-empty kinda guy and you think "you can polish a turd as much as you want, but a turd is a turd". Or you can think of it as a glass half-full kinda man, where we make something out of nothing. I tend to be the optimist, the glass half-full, like a Tom Brady, where I'm the 12th round and I'm the 199th pick in the NFL draft no one believes in me but then I go on to win 3 Super Bowls. Yea.

So what can we take away from today's post? Be creative and open minded, the greatest men in the world don't perceive things like everyone else, that's why we're different. Make something out of nothing. But do not think by changing your appearance, you're changing yourself. There's nothing wrong with trying to clean yourself up, but if you're a dick it doesn't matter if you're wearing a suit, or sweats, an asshole is an asshole.