Halloween Do's and Dont's

Image courtesy of nyc.barstool.com


Wow look at Chays Halloween guide. Good stuff my man. For all you idiots who didn't read it, go do it now. That being said, here's my own advice Spark Note version, I didn't want to write a novel like my accomplice over there.

DO:
- Pick a fucking good costume. Emphasis on the "fucking". There are two types of costumes in the world, those which make us more burly and manly and thus more likely to get us laid and then there's costumes which make people laugh which can sometimes result in getting laid. Pick one and GO FOR IT, there can be no half-assing and lets be honest halloween is like 3 days long so pick 3 different costumes and bring your A-Game Finale on Halloween night. Anyways, if you want to go as a storm trooper to nerd out with your buddies cause they are all storm troopers, than go for it. Just don't expect to get laid in it, that's all. There's nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with the fellas and have a merry old time, just don't come crying back to Me and Chays when you don't get any because we'll just say We Told You So. So if you want to be something fuuny, go for it, but you better bring your best lines and best swagger if you're gonna be bringing a girl back with you. Case in point, my buddy last year was scooby doo like the full suit/pajama/footsie. Thing was hilarious and he also got laid after. He's basically a fucking magician. But unless your name is Houdini, I recommend going with the tried and true manly costume. Lumberjack, construction worker, spy, anything is good, as long as you have a good story to go with it. Just remember to be Original (to some extent), make the costume your own and be yourself. ALSO being a guido, and yelling "MUSCLE MILK" is no longer funny, that costume died 3 years ago.

-There will be a ton of girls dressing slutty this week. It's basically God's way of saying, "Don't worry guys, I know how to party". Every guy at the bar or party will be talking to every girl you see. They like the attention. So what do you do? Give them some attention, let them know why they should be talking to you and not the useless chump dressed as Borat craving for his own attention. Then when they want to hang out with you, walk away and talk to another girl. Do this frequently and contact as many girls as possible, again only to an extent. You still need to have one girl as your primary focus. I have to say though, look for diamonds in the rough. They will be there, they will not be dressed as slutty, but they will be looking fine in whatever they might be wearing. These girls will be tough to go after as they actually have standards. Get to know her and get her number, she'll be fun to hang out with when it's not a feeding frenzy. Plus shell realize you're the only guy whom she spoke with who didn't try to rape her on the dance floor on Halloween.
-Make your presence known. Make an entrance into the bar or party with a slight smile on your face and your entourage, look around and make eye contact. People will want to know who you are, who you came with, and what's the back story of your costume.
DO NOT:

-Throw a party after Halloween. This year halloween is Saturday night, which is as perfect as Megan Fox in thigh high boots. But on the years where Halloween is in the middle of the week, DO NOT throw a party the weekend after, do it the weekend before. Once Halloween is over, it's over. Screw the kids, this is OUR holiday, I don't want chocolate candy, I want Eye Candy in the form of slutty referees.
-Pick a shitty or not funny costume. Cannot be overstated enough.
-Get pissed off when the girl you've been eyeing the entire night has been with other dudes the entire night. It's Halloween, what the fuck do you think the other chumps in the room are going to do? Make your presence known.

I can go on, but just keep it simple. Ask yourself what type of fun you want to have, fun with a girl or fun getting hammered with friends? The rest will sort itself out.

Fellow Men, post your tips and advice in the comments section. Me and Chay's have got this shit on lock, but since we've never been wimps, there are those with whom we just cannot relate too. So share your stories of greatness with us.

But this isn't Chay's or my first rodeo, ok? So take our advice and remember There's only one type of party, the After Party.

Halloween...don't be that guy

Halloween is one of the greatest holidays known to man. It's a day to combine 2 of the greatest things ever invented: alcohol and skimpily dressed women. And, wait for it, Halloween is on a Saturday this year. Did you hear that, that was the sound of MJ draining a buzzer beating, game winning 3 ball...the swish, the snap of the net, the buzzer, the fist pump, and everyone goes home a winner. Because in all actuality, that is the plan right? Go home a winner? Well if not, it damn well should be, so lets get started.

Costume - You know the guy that has a great costume, he's either hilarious, attracting all the women, or both? Well he started planning it out about 2 weeks ago, so if you don't have yours nailed down, get to it. When deciding, know that you're wearing this costume all night, so realize you may be walking all over town, going into the bars, or you might be crammed in a house party with some strobe lights, loud music, and you're getting your freak on. So maybe that full body paint job with only your whitey tideys wasn't a good idea? yeah we talked about it. Finally, when deciding the costume, don't half-ass it. If you're gonna be a T-Bird, get the leather jacket, a pack of marlboro reds, and gel your hair. Don't wear a black jacket, throw on some blue jeans and call it good enough. On the other end, if you're gonna be Batman, Robin, or Peter Pan, then MAN UP, get yourself some tights, and be Peter Fucking Pan. If you go with dressing in green with a funny little hat, and call that good enough...that is where your night will end: at good enough. Remember how long is takes women to get ready, multiply it by Halloween, and imagine the work they are doing. If you put the work in on your end, you'll have a better chance of putting the work in on their end. Wait for it....see what I did there. Joking aside, always always always remember this: Look good, feel good, play good.

Women - Question: how many women did you see last Halloween dressed as the bearded circus freak, or with a full body, cow costume, or as a nun? Well maybe nun, but what I'm getting at is how most women will be dressed as sexy as possible, with the least amount of clothing on, so be prepared for it. For all of hitched up gentlemen, yes she will catch you staring at her gorgeous friend, you know the one you've always thought was beautiful, who you know you'll never have a chance with, but hey it's fun to think about? Wait, what? I digress, but for you gents, sure you can look, and you can enjoy, but treat it like the sun. Only a glimpse, because the longer you stare, the more it's going to hurt. Trust me, you'll get caught, your girlfriend with have had 5 too many drinks, and think about how awkward that fight will be in the middle of the party with the roommate standing there as you're accused of secretly wanting to be with her. Instead, enjoy the fact that you already have a great girl (I hope), who is dressed sexy as hell (I hope), and who you'll be taking home later to enjoy for the rest of the night (I hope). As for the fact that your girlfriend will be the viewing pleasure of many on this night, take it as an opportunity to boast, be prideful, and show her off. She feels comfortable enough to dress like that, then let her because she came with you, shes leaving with you, and she doesn't care about any of them, she just likes looking good (I hope). Either way, best of luck.

Now, for the rest of us men who, like this weekend is any different, will be attempting to wooo, dazzle, and charm a sweet young lady into spending some more time together, listen up. Just because she IS dressed like a sexy vampire, or cheerleader, or lord knows what, that does not mean she wants to go home with you. You still need to be the same handsome looking, fresh smelling, smooth talking alpha male that you usually are, well I am anyways. Compliment her outfit, but don't describe her as a hooker, even if she tells you thats what she is, its written on her shirt, and she may or may not have been on the corner earlier. Second, if you have no idea what she is, figure it out, like now dude. Ask your buddy what he thinks, ask another girl, or even her friend if she won't rat on you because when she asks if you know what she is, and all you come up with is a blank stare and some drool, you can assume how your night will end.

Comin in hottttt

New kid on the block here, just giving this a little test run. Beezy is the brains of the operation, so I guess I'll call myself the muscle? Anyways, I may not know everything there is to know about writing or blogging, but I can tell you one thing: I'm a fuckin man. And I can write about that all day long, and twice on Sundays. With that being said, there are good things to come, so stay tuned.

Mad Men Suit

One show every man needs to watch is "Mad Men". It's on AMC, but don't let that fool you, it's an epic show. It's critically acclaimed and it was part of my inspiration for this blog. Essentially you follow the lives of a group of guys who work for an ad agency in New York City during the 1950's and 1960's. The show is spot on in terms of how people interact with one another, how much the guys drink, even the technology they use. Basically, it follows everything that happened and how society worked, to the "T". One of the biggest things that they get right (Besides all of the guys being complete Bad Ass) is the fashion. These guys don't dress down. They look down right fucking impressive and intimidating.

So while you can't be as bad ass as Donald Draper, you can now look somewhat like him. Brooks Brothers has released a custom edition Mad Men suit designed by Janie Bryant, the Emmy-nominated costume designer for the show. It's limited edition so you probably won't get your hands on it, but at least now you know what to aim for, so get sure your shit tailored and start running shit.


Credit goes to Uncrate.com for this awesome find.

"Features include a noticeably slim cut, diagonal pockets, narrower notch lapels, and side vents. Limited to just 250, the suit is made in a Brooks-owned factory in Massachusetts, and while it might be more classically stylish than your current attire, don't expect it to magically turn you into Jon Hamm." -Uncrate.com

Welcome to Be A Man

My buddies and I had a realization over the past year; there's a whole bunch of dumb assholes who think they are "The Man". From Frat Kids, to emo snowboarders, and guidos to gamer nerds you can find idiots who do a whole bunch of talking and not enough walking. We're here to change that. For some reason over the years modernization of our culture has turned a bunch of us into pussys; 10 years ago every guy from age 4 to 18 played baseball during the spring and now we have professional gamers? Fuck that. It's now ok for a guy to get his hair fucking frosted and go tanning? Fuck that. We're here to end that shit. Being a man is about being yourself, being confident, and realizing failures are just steps to success. We're not asking you to be like us, because you will never be as awesome as us, we're just showing you and updating you what's going on today in a Man's world. After all nobody can keep up with everything, well except for us. We're gonna be talking about sports and lots of them. We'll talk about the newest technology coming out, from cars to cellphones to big TV's. Girls? You fucking bet we'll be taking about girls, the good the bad and the ugly, mainly the good. You know what else we'll be taking about? Everything. We're gonna do whatever it takes to make sure we cover everything about being a man; from fashion, because you have to look fresh, to politics, because you have to know what is going on around the world. No one likes a bullshitter.

I personally like to think of it as the James Bond approach, he was good at everything. Making drinks, picking up women, driving cars and kicking the shit out of people. He had wits and charm. And while most people can't be good at everything, we're not asking you to be like most people, we're asking you to step away from those idiots stuck in mediocrity.

You wanna be man? Then step up and start taking notes. This is the start of a revolution.